It is not too much to say that everything in our culture pushes against habits of deep reading. Our ears are filled with noise, our eyes are stuck on screens, and our attention is scattered and distracted by a thousand entertainments.
Parents and teachers are worried; I’m both a dad and a professor, and I’m very worried. My worry increases when I think about handing on the faith. Not every believer needs to be literate, much less a casual reader of Dante or Milton. But Christian faith is irreducibly wordy, its details and contours forever fixed in the complex texts of Holy Scripture and sacred tradition. Readers are interpreters, if not by their eyes then by their ears, and bad interpreters can do a lot of damage.
Indeed, the very habits that sustain deep reading are crucial for sustaining prayer. If I lack the attention to keep my eyes on a page I can see, how can I have the attention to keep my heart on a God I cannot see? Reading is not necessary for prayer, but it is one helpful training ground for it.
Is it possible, then, to raise readers in a digital age? I think so. I’ve got four kids, two boys then two girls, who range from sixth grade to first. I can’t say I’ve done much well, but I have raised readers. Every child is different, and aptitude and opportunity both matter greatly. Nevertheless, within varying limits, there are certain things parents can do to make it more likely that their children will learn good reading habits—even become lifelong readers themselves. Here are the ones that have worked well for our family.
1. Practice what you preach.
The best and easiest way to raise readers is to be one yourself. If you don’t read, why would your children? If you do read—constantly, randomly, in all the nooks and crannies of your daily routine—then your children are bound to notice. They might even imitate you.
2. Start early.
This goes without saying: Start the reading train, not when they’re in school or can point to pictures, but while they’re in the cradle—better, while they’re in the womb.
3. Read aloud.
Duh. I was never very good at this, but most parents are. The trick, for some kids, is not to stop when they’re able to fly solo. Reading aloud has no age requirements, up or down. If your child keeps asking for it, why not keep giving it?
4. Surround them with physical books.
From the beginning, surround your children with books. Piles of them. Stacks of them. Shelves of them. Make a circle of mountains of books and place your kids in the middle of it. Let their bedrooms and yours be filled to overflowing. Studies show what common sense has always known: Seeing books everywhere one looks is sure to lead a child to want to crack one open for herself. Start building your kids’ library from the get-go, and don’t stop until they leave the house—and not even then.
5. Budget for books.
I’m serious. If your family has a budget, create a line item for books. Don’t let lack of funds or planning block spontaneous purchases and incremental buys. Make this a priority the way you would tithing to church or saving for college. It’s more important than the latter and, I’m sure you will agree, a close second to the former.
6. Give books as gifts.
At some point children gather by osmosis—whether from school or pop culture—that books are uncool. Don’t wait for that to happen; begin funding the opposite sentiment years before its creeping parasite comes along. Make books fun, exciting, and happy. Lavish them as presents. Fashion them as something to receive, to which the only reasonable response is delight. Make them precious artifacts and memorable moments, not homework assigned by a drill sergeant.
7. Bedtime is reading time.
Like reading aloud, this one doesn’t have an expiration date either. We informed our boys when they were barely out of diapers that they were consigned to their shared bedroom exactly one hour before lights out. They were welcome to read whatever they wanted. Now the oldest is in middle school, and we still do it. It calms the mind and stills the body, and absent anything else to occupy them, reading wins out.
Be the neck that turns the head. “Lights out at 8:00.” “Oh please, please, can we read for an extra fifteen minutes with our flashlights?” “Hm. Well, okay—but no more.” All four of our kids now beg for flashlight-reading time. Let the idea occur to them, then reluctantly grant permission, then see what happens.
8. Intersperse the Bible.
Growing up, I was required to read for a minimum of thirty minutes each night before sleep: ten minutes of Bible, twenty of anything else. My wife and I ask our kids to read one chapter of the Bible each night. I gently prod them to the Gospels, Acts, and Genesis, but after that, they’re welcome to whatever floats their boat. Questions arise organically; scriptural stories start to speak to one another; worship and Bible class draw out the details. Nothing programmatic or didactic: just introduce them to God’s word and let the word do its work.
9. Incentivize reading.
By which I mean: Bribe them. A special dessert for John’s first chapter book read cover-to-cover, or family dinner at a restaurant for Jane’s first million words, or a sequel on us if they read the challenging first volume of a long series. Rewards work.
10. No seeing the movie before you’ve read the book.
I’m certain this rule hails from the church fathers, so it doesn’t need defending from me. But think of it less as restrictive (“no seeing the movie until…”) and more as permissive (“you can see it before any of your friends once you read the book…”). It also gives a goal to work toward that can be shared: You can watch the film together, then compare notes afterward.
11. Set aside reading-only times.
There’s a time to shoot hoops, a time for sleepovers, a time to pull out board games or bake cookies. There’s also time to read. Set it aside. Consecrate it. Don’t assume it’ll happen on its own.
With our girls, who were initially less interested in reading than their older brothers, I allowed them to read when they got home from school, in lieu of chores. At first it seemed like their chore was reading; then they realized it was a relief from chores; then they forgot they “had” to do it and started doing it for fun. That’s the idea.
12. Create screen-free spaces.
Screens are an ever-present threat to reading; the eye can’t help but gravitate in their direction. Ensure, therefore, that some spaces in your home are free of screens. Not just a stationary desktop or TV, but also phones and tablets: if they’re present and visible or audible, they won’t stop begging until they’re turned on. And then you’ve lost.
This imperative is vital for bedrooms, but the kitchen, dining room, and at least one living room or play area is ideal as well.
13. Read together, outside of bedtime.
It’s one hour before bedtime. The girls are already asleep. Our boys ask us: “If we promise not to be crazy, can we get our books and read with y’all?” It’s an easy yes. Maybe we sit in silence, all reading together. Maybe my wife and I are emptying our inboxes. Maybe it’s Sunday night and football’s on. (Notice that I’ve already broken a rule; I didn’t say I was perfect.) Whatever’s happening, reading is still a default for this hour, and it feels special to get to be with Mom and Dad for it.
14. Read outside the home.
Don’t limit reading to where you live! Reading can happen anywhere, and the more it happens elsewhere, the more it’s likely to become a reflex once they leave the home for good.
15. Schedule reading dates.
Starting with my oldest, I would tell him on a random Saturday to grab a chapter book and a “fun” book (i.e., comic strips) before we headed to a local coffee shop. Sometimes we’d stop at a bookstore first. Hot chocolate and pumpkin bread on me. We’d sit down, read for an hour or two, then head home. The guiding light, as ever: Do it yourself; do it together; and make it fun, routine, and memorable.
16. Take books wherever you go.
I follow the Stephen King principle: Never leave home without a book. You never know when you might have a spare ten minutes. Model this, then start inviting the kids to do the same. Don’t expect to be entertained where you go or as you go; bring the entertainment with you.
17. Waiting time is reading time.
Being a kid means a lot of waiting: doctors, dentists, groceries, pick-up lines. Boredom isn’t meant to be sated by a screen, whether an iPad or a movie in the car or Mom’s phone at the pediatrician’s office. In truth, boredom’s meant to be suffered. But since it takes a lifetime to learn that lesson, the next best way to muddle through is to lose yourself in a book.
The ladies who cut my kids’ hair every few months know them as “the readers.” Even though sports are on the screens, we all bring books along and bury our noses in them. Occasionally I look up and notice that every child and adult is doomscrolling on a personal device, while my children are sitting quietly. That’s not because I’ve taught them to sit still and shut up; they’re as rambunctious as any of their peers. The reason is because their books have trained them. Books, it turns out, aren’t such poor parents themselves.
18. Visit bookstores together.
Bookstores are magical places. Share the magic with your kids. Teach them the pleasures of perusal. Show them it’s just as wonderful to wander and walk away empty-handed as it is to buy out half the store. Instill in them this good word from the good Lord (I’m sure it’s there in one of the Gospels): You can never have enough books.
19. Make the public library a favored stop.
Ditto bookstores, only now the magic is that you can walk out with books for free. Don’t just pop in. Request books on inter-library loan; ask for all ten volumes in a series. Have them ready for when your kid stays up extra late with his flashlight and can’t wait to start the next one.
20. Be prepared with recommendations.
Consult your childhood, look around online, ask friends with older kids: Which series are best? Which are the most challenging? Which authors can’t be trusted? Which ignite an insatiable hunger to get to the end as fast as humanly possible? I have dozens of lists with hundreds of series and thousands of books to offer my kids. When they come to me for the next great thing, I’m prepared.
21. All reading is good reading…
Not exactly, but usually this is true, especially early on. For the most part, resist the temptation to be a snob. Point them away from Captain Underpants, but maybe let them read Diary of a Wimpy Kid. If they’re into Big Nate, don’t fight it; just find an opportune time to hand them a copy of Calvin and Hobbes, or Bone, or Zita the Space Girl. For many children it’s a daunting thing to sit still, alone with a book. Sometimes the body needs to learn the habit before the mind can move from candy bars to entrees.
22. …but not all reading is created equal.
Over the years I’ve let my kids buy books I don’t love. Once they’ve read them a few times over the course of a month or so, I quietly place them on a top shelf in my closet. At this point I’ve got quite the collection up there. The kids know that the candy bars come down only rarely; we need to read bigger, better, more nutritious (and ultimately satisfying) books first, or else our literary teeth are going to get cavities.
You don’t need to adopt this specific system, but something like it is a useful way to clarify which books we “want around” and which we want out of sight, if not out of mind.
23. Read what they’re reading.
Do it before them; do it after them; do it with them. My oldest wanted me to read a graphic novel he’d read at school: New Kid by Jerry Craft. I dithered at first. Finally I took the plunge. What a book! It won the Newbery Medal for a reason. My son wanted to talk race, class, and pop culture with a depth I didn’t realize he was ready for. He also had questions I wouldn’t have anticipated.
You can’t read everything your kids read, but occasionally doing so helps, too, to weed out the nonsense, if not beforehand, then at least afterward.
24. Work with teachers and programs.
Not everyone loves “Advanced Reading,” but our kids loved it. It became an annual competition to see how many millions of words each could read in an academic year. If it’s not AR, then maybe it’s Beanstack, which counts time read rather than words. Whatever it is, programs like these can be useful, depending on your child’s interests and temperament. (One of ours couldn’t care less.)
25. Encourage re-reading.
One negative lesson kids can take from reading programs and school work is that, once you’ve read a book, then you’re done with it for life. Since kids love repetition, I’ve always doubted this strange lesson is native to them; it surely comes from nurture, not nature. They have to be taught not to reread their favorite books. Well, don’t teach them! Tell them it’s perfectly normal and in fact delightful to reread a book not just a dozen but a hundred times.
26. Anticipate forthcoming books.
Advertising ensures that kids know the next big blockbuster coming out; hardcore fans can you tell you the exact release dates of the next ten Marvel movies. Counter that forecasting with your own household release schedule. Look ahead on Amazon or publishers’ websites for the kids’ favorite series or beloved author’s next work; circle it on the calendar; preorder it; and make a show of it when the day arrives!
27. Attend author events.
My sons got into Rick Riordan’s books early, and one of them wanted to go see him in person. So we bought him a ticket to an event at Book People in Austin; Riordan was set to visit on his book tour in fall 2021. The pandemic ended up making the event virtual, but he still participated, and remembers the experience fondly to this day.
28 Listen to audiobooks together in the car.
My family isn’t exemplary here, but I know plenty that are. It’s a break from screens; it doesn’t induce nausea; and it includes the driver. Oldies and classics are especially attractive here: Boxcar Children, Little Women, Little House on the Prairie, Winnie-the-Pooh, Paddington Bear, Mary Poppins, Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, The Hobbit, Harry Potter. Give it a try.
29. No smartphones or personal tablets.
Well, as long as you can manage it. No one in our house has a smartphone yet; our sixth grader got a tablet upon entering middle school. It’s for homework and texting and FaceTiming friends. Every family will have different rules here. No matter one’s decision, the thing to remember is that (a) the later the better, (b) reading still takes priority, and (c) the device needs serious limits, regardless of age. In other words—see rule 1—limits apply to parents, too.
30. No e-readers.
I’m not dogmatic here, as I can imagine a parent making the case that an e-reader worked for her family: perhaps it helped her child learn to love to read; it saved on money, time, and sheer bulk; an e-reader is portable and lasts for years. I get it.
Here’s my concern. Reading is tactile; books take up space; pages take on a certain character over time. My kids have my original copies of Narnia, Harry Potter, and Calvin and Hobbes—even The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm. The books belonged to me and now they belong to them. There’s something viscerally significant about that.
More to the point: The sooner a child has an e-reader, the sooner the difference between a book and a tablet blurs in their mind. Isn’t reading just one thing you do on a screen, alongside Angry Birds, YouTube, and TikTok? Perish the thought! By contrast, you can’t do much with a physical book except for read the damn thing.
In short, I’m convinced that e-readers, introduced too early, hook a kid to a surface, rather than to the words thereon. In our day, digital surfaces can’t be avoided forever. Induce love for the page before the surface threatens to subsume the rest of life, including books.
31. Subscribe to magazines.
Newspapers don’t fascinate and draw in children the way they once did (comics, sports scores, movie reviews), but magazines still can. I’ve loved magazines since I was a child. I subscribed to them by the score—graduating from zoo animals to video games to pop culture to politics—and still do. Whatever appeals to your kid, there’s a magazine for that. See what sticks.
32. Nudge and suggest without browbeating…
Early on my boys would read whatever I suggested, whenever I suggested it. My approach was Wordsworth’s: “What we have loved / Others will love, and we will teach them how.” This just seemed the nature of things. Watterson, Jacques, Lewis, Tolkien, L’Engle, Le Guin, Scott Card—they’d read at an early age what I discovered so much later, benefitting from my experience and taste, such as it is.
My daughters couldn’t care less what I love. In fact, the more affection I express for a book or series, the less likely they are to give it a fair shake. So I’ve dropped the cajoling and allowed them to find their own way.
33. … but don’t take no for an answer.
“Their own way” doesn’t mean no reading, however. It means reading what they discover on their own, rather than forcing them on a predetermined path. Reading some particular book is not, for now, a requirement; reading something is.
Hence, reading is no more optional than playing outside, going to church, doing the dishes, or taking a bath. It’s just part of what it means to be a part of our family. It’s second nature.
34. Help them find what they love.
I was a poor fiction reader growing up; for the most part I still am. I didn’t fall in love with reading until my youth minister handed me Lewis and Chesterton, Bonhoeffer and Kierkegaard. For one of my daughters, at the moment, it’s horses and farms and homesteading on the prairie; for one of my sons, it’s science fiction and fantasy (minus the “boring” pastoral landscapes). There aren’t many wrong answers, but the goal is to guide them to the right ones for them. Once a book cracks open their heart, there won’t be any turning back.
35. Be patient.
These things take time. A few years ago one of my brothers read two hundred books in twelve months. Ten years prior, as a college freshman, he didn’t read novels and mostly resented the act of reading. The seeds just took a while to sprout. But they did. The work paid off. It usually does. In reading as in parenting, it’s time and patience that do the most work.
Image Via: RawPixel
